


Pre-Recorded Text

by huntersg1rl



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, No Fluff, Sobbing, Sorry Not Sorry, Still not sorry, Suicide, Suicide Notes, Tissue Warning, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, many times, what even, you're in for a ride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 03:30:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15134123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huntersg1rl/pseuds/huntersg1rl
Summary: The time the sun set forever.





	Pre-Recorded Text

_ It is the reflection of the sun’s rays that give the moon it’s glow. Only with the sun can the moon shine.  _

The first time he saw Hinata, Tsukishima almost lost his ability to speak. And how hard is it to ignore the sun? But then, Tsukishima hadn’t fallen yet, so the sun didn’t overtake the gleam of the jewels he thought he saw resting on Kageyama’s forehead.

They’re not there, now he knows that, and it didn’t take him long to find out. But the King could never know. So he continued to tease, drawing up the nickname the shorter boy never wanted to hear.

It was around that time he realized he had fallen into orbit with the sun. He saw Hinata’s shine for the first time and fought, fought so hard, to avoid his gravity. It was impossible. No force of gravity could be stronger than Hinata’s blinding smile. And so Tsukishima fell, letting himself grow closer and closer to the sun. He sank into his role as the moon, slowly, but eventually gladly. And he reflected Hinata’s joy and never ending energy, using the shorter boy to fuel himself, to make himself shine.

_ “Tsukishima! I like you!” _

The words the other boy had spoken still echo in his head, will echo in his head for decades to come. How could they ever leave? They were answered with silence, a brief brush of lips, and a sideways comment to be ready at seven on Saturday.

Tsukishima didn’t have to look to know Hinata had jumped, in his celebratory way. He could feel the boy’s excitement pouring into him, even from a distance.

And together, they took on Inter High. But then they lost, to Aoba Johsai.

_ It is the rotation of the moon that can block the sun’s glow. Only by the moon can the sun ever be eclipsed. _

Was that when it started? When they lost at Inter High? Or was it before that?

Tsukishima could ponder the question forever and never figure it out. All he knew, all anyone knew, was that one day, the sun didn’t rise. And when it limped its way into the sky the next day, it hardly shone at all.

No one could figure it out. Perhaps, the sun had been dimming for a while now and they only just noticed due to the more significant change. Or, perhaps, it happened all at once, a sudden drop off.

But Hinata, for whatever reason, didn’t come to the local training camp he had so been looking forward to, a weekend thing, with just the team. More of a bonding exercise than anything. And then he missed school.

_ So how is it that the sun fell, sinking into the ground, ending it’s brilliant glow, not by the moon’s hand? _

The text arrived. It sliced into all of them, like a blade of the coldest, sharpest steel.

It crashed into Tsukishima, trying to edge him out of orbit like a meteor into the moon. And it almost succeeded. But Tsukishima clung, clung to the gravity he knew, he swore had to still be there. Because the sun doesn’t just turn off, give out, not without warning.

But the text arrived, one to each of their phones.

‘To the best captain ever, I will never forget you. Thank you.’

‘To an amazing setter, for tossing to me. Thank you.’

‘To the ace, for inspiring me. Thank you.’

‘To the prettiest and best manager. Thank you.’

‘To the libero, my senpai. Thank you.’

‘To the best senpai, and an amazing spiker. Thank you.’

‘To an amazing teammate. Thank you.’

‘To an amazing teammate. Thank you.’

‘To the greatest future captain. Thank you.’

‘To the best pinch server and great friend. Thank you.’

‘To the cutest manager and best villager number two. Thank you.’

‘To the greatest setter I know and my closest friend. Thank you.’

‘To the best coach. Thank you.’

‘To an amazing teacher. Thank you.’

One to each of their phones.

And then one more, into the group chat they all shared.

‘Win the Nationals. I believe in you.’

One to each of their phones.

All but Tsukishima.

His phone never buzzed.

Not until an unknown number called.

_ “Is this Tsukishima Kei? He left a letter for you. Has he contacted you?” _

No, Tsukishima’s phone never buzzed. So he ran, while his senpai and friends all clung to each other in terror, fearing the worst.

He ran, with the speed Hinata used to have, the speed he could never keep up with. He sprinted up the mountain and down the other side to Hinata’s house, where a letter awaited him. One that could answer every question.

Or, perhaps, only one question.

_ What is it that caused the sun to set forever? _

“I love you, Tsukishima Kei. Never forget that.

Right now, I’m sure the team just got my texts. My mom just got one, telling her to find this letter and call you. I love you more than anything on this earth, more than volleyball and meat buns. So this letter can only be for you.

I can’t do this anymore, Kei. It hurts, so, so much. I can’t. Day in, day out, I hurt. And with you, with the team, when I spike, I find brief moments of peace, but I just can’t anymore.

I left, at the start of the school day. Put on my uniform and biked away like I was going to school. I didn’t go, as I’m sure you know. I told the school I was sick. I set those texts to send at the end of practice, just before anyone would leave, but after you all packed up. So I know I left myself ample time to do what I must.

I never crossed the mountain, Kei. I just went to the top. It’s beautiful up there, you know. You should visit it someday, when you’ve forgotten all about me, and my stupidity, and my love for you.

You will, by the way. You’ll forget. You’ll grow up, get married, have a kid or two, and you’ll be happy. Oh, get a dog. That, too. Dogs are nice.

I can’t give you any of that, Kei. I’m too broken. Too in pain. Too empty inside.

So just remember that I love you. And I beg you not to forget me even though I know you will. Please, Kei, just remember that you always have my love.

Hinata Shouyou”

Tears speckle the page, smearing the ink, like he really was in pain. Like he really thought he had no other choice.

But the letter answered no questions except for where Hinata went and why. Tsukishima’s eyes glaze over as he looks out the window to the sun, staring at the orange orb in the sky.

Hinata said he’d forget.

_ Even in a total eclipse, you can still see some of the sun’s rays. _

Hinata still shone upon them, but the light was no longer warm and comforting and energizing. Instead, it was cold, and unhappy, and bitter, and everything Tsukishima hated.

The team didn’t quit. They went to the funeral, planned around their training schedule. They retired Hinata’s number, folding the jersey neatly into a shadow box with a volleyball and his shoes, storing it in the clubroom, meant to stay put until the day he would graduate. Then, they started the prelims for the Spring High.

And they were ruthless. They entered the court with bloodlust on their minds, in their hearts, and gleaming from their eyes. And their opponents fell before the murder of crows.

They fell before Asahi’s ruthless spikes. They fell before Kageyama’s pinpoint toss. They fell before Noya’s receives. They fell before Tsukishima’s blocks.

They fell and fell and fell and then Nationals came. And even the long awaited Battle of the Trash Heap was tinged bittersweet as Nekoma fell before them. And the game against Fukurodani, where Bokuto could barely bring himself to spike, falling prey to Tsukishima’s blocks and Hinata’s eclipsed presence.

And the last team fell. Tears poured down the opponent’s faces. They started to flee the court, not wanting to be near the cheers of the winning team. But those cheers never reached their ears. And Tsukishima knew he was feeling what the others were.

‘Win the Nationals. I believe in you.’

Bittersweet. Relief. Yes, they were all happy they had won. Karasuno, once again, stood at its former glory. A fallen champion risen once again.

‘Win the Nationals. I believe in you.’

Shock rippled through the new third and second years when the text arrived. The first years didn’t understand, not until they saw the shadow box. They won again. And again, twice in one year, because they claimed both Inter High and Spring High.

‘Win the Nationals. I believe in you.’

They weren’t surprised to see the text this time. They won a fourth time, then a fifth. And then they graduated. And the shadow box that had filled the room with the glow from around the eclipse was removed, sent home with Tsukishima.

‘Win the Nationals. I believe in you.’

It’s nearly a decade after graduating when Tsukishima, alone in a studio apartment with the shadow box and a dog named Sun, checks Karasuno’s volleyball record.

“How? How have you never lost?” He cries into the phone, Ukai choking on the other end. “How can you win every Nationals for thirteen years?”

“Every year, I tell them why we retired the number ten, that it belongs to Hinata. Every year,” Ukai whispers into the line, “I get a text, a few weeks later. A single message, preset to send. ‘Win the Nationals. I believe in you.’ It arrives during practice, without fail, every year. And so, every year, I show the team. And I tell them the story about our little number 10 who lead us to win Nationals with a single, pre-recorded text and a smile that once shone like the sun.”

_ Galileo once said the world revolved around the sun. He has since been proven correct. _

**Author's Note:**

> I literally cried several times writing this.  
> I only wrote this because I wanted to read it and couldn't find it.  
> I'm still not sorry.


End file.
